one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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