Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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