turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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