He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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