Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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