I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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