Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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