I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
someone owes me an orgasm
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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