i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
