but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
