a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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