I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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