I wish my penis had an off switch
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
