I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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