suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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