He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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