But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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