You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
