He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
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my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
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Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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