they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
3 2 1 whiskey
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
