she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
