Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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