when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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