hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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