he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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