Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
