worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
