Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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