you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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