Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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