Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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