he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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