do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
