I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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