note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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