i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I could make wine with my vomit
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
As shirtless as possible
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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