ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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