Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
