I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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