To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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