you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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