god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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