Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She bit a glass in half.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
