I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
