hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
