I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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