I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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