am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
