i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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