Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
