Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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