I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I think I sprained my soul last night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
