fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
