I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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