it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
