Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Randomize
