so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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