I only kidnapped one of them. chill
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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